The vast majority of what has been written about the women’s U. S. Open tennis final last week, where Serena Williams lost to Naomi Osaka in a match punctuated by 3 code violations issued to Ms. Williams by referee Carlos Ramos, has been generally to side with Ms. Williams. Mr. Ramos, after all, is no stranger to clashing with players during matches, having past run-ins with the likes of Rafael Nadal and Andy Murray. The first code violation he issued to Ms. Williams (for coaching) was petty, and the second – for Ms. Williams throwing her racket – was inconsistent with his past rulings of allowing numerous players to mistreat equipment without recourse. Watching at home, I thought Mr. Perez acted arrogantly and insecurely, inserting himself as the major player in the match. In any sport, conventional wisdom says that at an umpire, referee, or any official is doing his best job if he (or she) goes unnoticed. At best, Mr. Perez failed miserably at his job last week. At worst, he had underlying motives to do so.
Ms. Williams, for her part, understandably lashed out. An intense competitor, she railed at Mr. Williams, lost her cool, threw her racket, demanded apologies, called Mr. Perez names, and threatened him – and this was DURING the match! Afterward, she called him a sexist, incompetent, and…she even played the race card. She claimed there is double standard in tennis; that men get away with more than women when it comes to umpires, and that her stand is a stand for all women.
Most have said Ms. Williams was justified in her actions. Its not fair! This referee was terrible! She cost Serena the match!
These people would be wrong.
They are right about some things of course: it was definitely not fair. The referee was definitely terrible, and Ms. Williams may be have been justified in her actions. But Mr. Perez did not cost her the match – she lost because of the choices that she made.
If you have competed, then you probably have a genuine distaste for officials – those frustrated non-athletes who seem above accountability. And you know how it feels to be so angry at a referee (basketball in my case) that you literally want to physically harm them. You hate them. But you can’t beat them.
The goal of every athletic contest is still to win. Bad officials are part of every sport, and have been since the beginning of sport. When confronted with a terrible, unfair official that you want to physically harm, you can either go “Serena” on them, or you can keep your cool, continue playing hard and give your self a chance to win. “Suck it up!,”my dad would say, “Don’t give [the ref] the satisfaction!” Would any of us tell our children in youth sports that it is appropriate to handle a poor official the way Serena handled it? Of course not. I hope mine weren’t watching.
Serena is the best ever. She is a great champion, and a great ambassador for the sport. She could use this moment to teach: “I thought the umpire was unfair, but either way, I lost my cool and it cost me the match.” Instead, she’s teaching my 11 year old that its ok to be a big baby.